Homesickness

I wanted to write a bit about homesickness, but I've waited until a day when I am not feeling particularly homesick, because I don't want to get into a "England is amazing/America sucks" type rant. I absolutely have times when I do feel that way, and that's part of being aware of where you are from, but in the grand scheme of things it's not really fair.


In the weeks running up to me moving over here, I warned Jason that I could spend my first three weeks just wanting to turn tail and get on the next flight back to Manchester. Because that is what happened when I came to Orlando for my Disney College Programs. I spent the first three weeks thinking 'what the hell have I done?' and many tearful phone calls to my long-suffering mother were made. Then I would do something that was awesome - I think on my second college program it was a backstage BBQ at the Magic Kingdom where I went to disco in the middle of the day and did the Cha Cha Slide with Lilo & Stitch - and suddenly I would be OK.


But those times were very different, because I knew that - eventually - I would be heading home. 


This is the fourth time I have moved abroad - I spent 9 months living in Paris and this is attempt number 3 in Florida - and the one thing I can tell you is that immersion in a completely different culture definitely makes you more aware of where you are from. It's a great privilege, in a way, because you get to teach people which stereotypes are right and which are wrong - yes we drink a lot of tea, no I am not on personal terms with the Queen. 


I think one thing that worries me the most is losing touch with British life. Stupid little things like who got voted off X Factor, who is presenting the Ten O' Clock News on BBC1, and how much a bar of Dairy Milk costs. But I am trying to be pragmatic, and find my own way to stay in touch. With technology today, it is really, really easy to keep in touch with what is going on back home. It's just a shame that the major TV channels in the UK have blocked their online streaming to international IP addresses - but I'm trying to find a way round it.


I have found my own ways to express my Britishness too, which largely involves occasionally exercising my right to slag off various American ways of doing things and act superior. Oh, I may not be right, of course, but it bloody well makes me feel better. A key example is happening right now with this whole Prince William engagement thing. Watching NBC Nightly News earlier, the presenter referred to William as the 'future King of England', to which my response (to noone in particular, given I'm sat here by myself) was, "it's future King of Great Britain actually, jackass!" Now I am watching the BBC coverage on BBC America and Jeremy Paxman, anchor of a nightly news debate show called Newsnight, is on, and I feel all is right with the world.


(Actually, Jeremy Paxman is a bit of an arrogant tosser, but I am choosing to forget that for a bit. It's all about the rose-tinted glasses, so long as you know when to take them off.)


Of course I miss my family and my friends terribly, and that comes and goes when you least expect it. Last night I was perfectly happy watching Jerry Maguire, and I used the expression 'square eyes' when chatting to Jason. It made me feel terribly homesick out of the blue, because my mum used to use that expression all the time when I was a kid.


Fortunately, I have a great man who loves me enough to realise that my homesickness and my love for him are not mutually exclusive, and is there with a big hug whenever I need it.


I guess I've realised that the key to surviving is realising that homesickness is allowed, and that it will pass. And picking up the phone to my mum, dad, or best friends, is the best medicine when I am feeling blue.


But this week I am extra lucky, because most of my friends and family are arriving this weekend for the wedding. So I will get a big piece of home for the next 2 weeks - and I can't wait!